Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Tears, Violence and Relinquishing the Pants
So did the title get your attention? This story is also known as immigration hell. My working visa expires on the 25th so I had to haul my butt down to immigration to apply for a spousal visa. The phone is constantly busy at immigration, so I couldn't ask them directly about what information I needed to show them. So next best thing - I asked my co-workers what they had to bring. I asked a wide assortment of my married male colleagues and all answers were the same: bring your family register, your marriage certificate and don't forget some photos! Great I had all of this.

So, I asked Hiroshi to come with me because he is a calm, patient soul and I figured that he would help keep me calm, as well as being someone to talk to during the extremely long wait. We arrived, grabbed a ticket from the machine. We were number 638, and they were calling 260 something. Lovely. Then we went to get the forms to fill out and the lady at the counter hands over a ton of stuff, including a big long list in Japanese. So I'm filling out forms and Hiroshi starts asking me about things I don't have. I'm like, "what???!!!". Back to the counter we go.

Words are exchanged with the lady at the counter. Liz starts crying. Hiroshi's voice starts to rise. And then, the shouting match begins! I found out later that the conversation went something like this:

Hiroshi: "She was told that she only needed marriage certificate, family register and photos".
Stupid Info Lady:"Did she call *here*?"
H: "Yes, but your phone is always busy so she couldn't ask you directly"
SIL: "Yes, it is busy. You still need these forms."
H: "Ok, but she can't come back before her visa expires - she can't get the time off work"
SIL: "Then she'll just have to leave the country"
H: s$(*%)($*#%

Basically, the 'leave the country' comment didn't please him and he went off on a rant. Something about the shoddy treatment, the government interfering with Japanese families (the government doesn't interfere here at all - i.e. the family is a private matter that the gov't doesn't get involved in - this is part of the reason why abuse in families is a huge problem IMO), and why were there suddenly fifty million forms needed for me and not others. Eventually we were directed to another counter.

Here there was a line-up rather than a ticket machine. We stood behind the woman with a screaming child in a baby sling. Instead of picking the child up, or even talking to him, or anything, she let him scream.... the whole half an hour we waited in line for our turn. How's that for putting your nerves on edge. I was about ready to strangle the woman. Finally we get to the counter, and we meet "The Woman" aka "snarky witch". We explain the situation. Woman says "That's not my problem". I start crying again. Hiroshi loses it.

Yes, my kind, gentle husband, for the first time ever, lost it. In the middle of "talking" to SW his voice rises. Then he starts leaning aggressively across the counter. I also notice he is shaking with rage at this point and start to get a bit worried. Then he grabs the pen SW is holding out of her hand and squeezes it until it is bending under the pressure. SW goes off somewhere. Liz puts a restraining hand on her husband's arm. Hiroshi says "I want to jump over the counter and kill her". Liz says, "OK, when she comes back, you take the right side and I'll go for the left...". Just kidding. At this point I told him to calm down and please be nice to the immigration lady. He says that he pays her salary so he doesn't have to be nice to her. I point out that SW can deport me so he'd better be nice to her.

SW comes back. I try to look serious - it is really hard to look serious when the vision of you and your husband jumping over the counter in tandem and attacking her is bringing a huge smile to your face. She says she can start processing my application but I have to send all of the info in by mail. I get a whole whopping 5 day extension. Hiroshi says "explain everything you need and the names of all the forms in English". To my great surprise she did. (They all pretend they don't speak English. Next time I won't be nice and try to explain in Japanese. I'll just use English.) Anyway, SW goes off to copy the stuff I gave her, and Hiroshi tells me, get her name when she comes back. I'm like, yeah, but why? Apparently she put her nametag in her pocket when she walked away!

So I got a stamp in my passport saying that I have an extension and a huge list of things to get to send in to them. Writing this several days after the fact, this is not such a bad deal. While I have to get a bazillion forms, I don't have to go back to the damn office, and stand in line listening to children scream. That is almost worth having to get all the forms. Basically SW is making me get everything though for this "privilege".

Some of the things we needed required a visit to the city office. I had brought a copy of our family register, but apparently it wasn't good enough - they have to be less than 3 months old. Same thing for your marriage certificate. Nice. So we haul ass down to the city office to get there before it closes. We arrived 10 minutes before closing time, and the people were SO nice and helpful! Ok, they were just normal, but in comparison to the evil people at immigration, the city office was wonderful. Anyone who has gone to a city office in Japan knows that nice and helpful are not adjectives that immediately come to mind here. We got all the required forms though. Now Hiroshi just needs to write an essay about why he married me. Yes, you read that right. The essay includes a spot where he has to indicate when and where he met me. Umm... he's a guy... He has no idea when we met. Apparently it isn't even an approximate date. They want to know exactly. Who the heck knows that??!! Most women can't even recall the exact date they met their spouse. (Apologies to all for the broad gender-based generalizations).

So that is the story of my trip to immigration. Hiroshi says he is ashamed to be Japanese. He had no idea they treated people like that. I figure I now have a big "GO SLOW" marked across the top of my file and that it will take months to process my visa. This royally bites cuz I want to go to Thailand in a month and a half and they usually take 3 weeks to process.

And ever since we left Immigration, Hiroshi has been on my case about not being more aggressive with them. He's like "You usually bitch and complain to everyone. Why aren't you strong with them? You should be strong to them. Make them speak English... blah blah blah.." Anyone who knows Hiroshi and I will probably get a laugh out of this. I very clearly 'wear the pants' in our family. It is usually *me* telling *him* to be more aggressive. I think I've lost the pants. ;)

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